


We've Been Robbed!

by firstdegreefangirl



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Fluff, House Cleaning, Let's be honest, M/M, Mild insecurities, Surprise Visits, but it's really more a mention of a mention, i've just written fluff, it's entirely fluff, mentions of slight homophobia, pre-visit panic, yay for family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 20:02:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8814370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstdegreefangirl/pseuds/firstdegreefangirl
Summary: Inspired by a moment in my life, in which my mother walked in while I was cleaning my room and asked if we'd been robbed. Thanks, mom.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I went to see Book of Mormon on tour today, so my adoration of that has been revitalized. Especially after seeing all the gay between Kevin and Connor in the actual show. So, here's something I wrote for this pairing in June while I work on coming up with something new!
> 
> Like I said, this basically happened to me, only without the romantic part. 
> 
> Un-betaed, but I just re-read this before posting it, so I think I caught everything. If you see something, say something.

“OMGosh! Kevin!” Kevin hears his boyfriend scream just as their apartment door closes behind him.

“Con? What’s going on?” Kevin calls out from the spare bedroom. It’s a space they use mostly for storage, but Kevin just found out that his family is coming to visit in just two weeks. Ordinarily, he’d ask Connor if it were OK, but ordinarily, his parents would have asked _him_ before they bought non-refundable plane tickets. Given that they don’t really have a choice now, Kevin started cleaning out the spare room as soon as he got off the phone with his parents.

“We’ve been robbed!” Conner’s voice is shrill and panicky.

“What? You’ve gotta come in here. I can’t hear you.” Kevin hears Connor move down the hallway before he appears in the doorway.

“We’ve been robbed! Someone trashed the entire apartment! Please tell me you’re in here now taking an inventory!” While Connor is speaking, Kevin moves across the room to pull him into a hug.

“Con? I think we need to talk. Bedroom?” Connor lets himself be led down the hall and sits on the edge of the bed, He folds his hands neatly in his lap and looks over at Kevin, who is sitting next to him. Taking a deep breath, he jumps in with both feet.

“Are you breaking up with me?"

“Am I- What? No! Why would you think that?”

“I came home and the place was a mess, and you said you wanted to talk. Kevin, I’ve seen the movies. You’re mad at me for something, so you were gonna walk out.”

“What? Connor, no. Trust me, you’d be lucky if all I wanted to talk about was me leaving you.”

“You have cancer.”

“What? No! Why is that where your mind went next? You know what? Never mind. No more soap operas.”

“Why don’t you go now, so I quit freaking out?”

Kevin slides to wrap an arm around Connor. “Do you remember when you said you’d love me no matter what?”

“Yes?” Connor asks it as a question.

“And do you remember when you asked why you never met my family?”

“You said it was because they were about as accepting as mine, just more subtle about it.”

“Pretty much. My mom called this afternoon. They’ve got plane tickets for a week and a half from now. Non-refundable, as she was sure to mention several times.”

“Wait, we weren’t robbed?” Connor looks up, incredulous.

“No, we weren’t robbed. I started cleaning out the spare room. Mom said how nice it would be to meet my ‘roommate’, and I don’t think she actually meant same room roommate.”

“So we aren’t sleeping together when they’re here?” Connor fails to hide his disappointment here, however grateful he may be that they weren’t robbed.

“Close. I’ll be in the spare room until they go to sleep. Then I’ll move in here and we’ll just be sure to be up before them in the mornings. If something goes wrong and they notice, you have really bad Hell dreams and I have to calm you down.”

“How do you come up with these elaborate plans, Kevin Price?"

“Also, the whole ‘Book of Arnold’ thing? They don’t know about that. Two years, normal mission, normal baptisms. It was all very normal. These plans start pretty much when my mother says ‘Your father and I were thinking about bringing your brothers up to the city for a week. In fact, we’ve already bought tickets, and they can’t be refunded’. From there, it grows as needed.” Kevin tips his head onto Connor’s shoulder. “Gosh, I don’t feel like dealing with them.”

“I know, hon. But they’re family, and at the end of the day, isn’t that all we have?”

“Only if they love you for you. Besides, you’re my family too.”

“Kevin, I promise you that your parents love you. It’s practically their _job_ to love you; not that they wouldn’t if it wasn’t. They’ll come around. Heavenly Father knows, if my folks can figure it out, yours can too.”

And that’s true. For eight months after they came back from Uganda, Connor only got radio silence from his family. He tried to tell himself that it didn’t matter, that he didn’t want to hear from them if it was all going to come back to “fixing” him. But he was lying and he knew it. Kevin knew it, too. Finally, he was able to convince Connor to call his parents, even just for five minutes. He sat right where he is now, Kevin’s fingers tangled in his own, and dialed. Even though the conversation wasn’t everything Connor had been hoping for, he knows it definitely could have been much worse. His dad wasn’t very understanding, but he’s never been closer to his mother or siblings.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. What do you think we should do?”

“I don’t know. But I know what we _shouldn’t_ do: hide it or cover anything up. We don’t need to flaunt anything in front of them, but they don’t get to come in and uproot our lives. We’re still _us_ , and Kev, I’m sorry, I know they’re your parents, but if they can’t accept that, then I just don’t know.”

Kevin’s only response is a soft sigh as Connor rubs his back comfortingly.

“But, hey,” Connor continues. “We’ve still got a week and a half to worry about that. Meantime, you’ve kind of ransacked the apartment. Or, we got robbed. Maybe both, it’s not like we’d be able to tell.” Kevin shoves Connor lightly.

“Shut up. She called and I may have overreacted a little bit. We needed to clean the stuff out anyway. Now’s as good a time as any?” He moves away from Connor and makes to stand.

Connor gives a heaving, overdramatic sigh. “Fine, I suppose. Here, I thought we could watch a movie and cuddle.” Kevin turns back with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“You know,” He waits to Connor to shift expectantly before continuing. “That sounds like an excellent,” Connor starts leaning back. “Way to motivate ourselves to finish cleaning! Watch a movie after!” Kevin cleanly dodges the pillow thrown at him and takes off down the hall. 

“Kevin Price! You are a ridiculous tease!” Connor shouts as he gives chase.

* * *

 

“Keep, trash or donate?” Connor holds up a horrific Christmas sweater. He thinks it was a gag gift from Elder Thomas after they all returned from their mission.

“Mmm … donate. What about the set of Star Trek mugs?”

“Donate. Everyone knows we’re a Star Wars household anyway.” These items are dropped into the appropriately labeled totes, and the process beings anew. They’ve been working for three hours now, stopping only to order in pizza for dinner, and have hardly made a dent in the pile. Connor is appropriately awed at the sheer volume of _stuff_ they’ve acquired in the three years they’ve been back from Uganda.

Despite the time they’ve invested already, they saved a lot by starting with a set of simple ground rules: anything from childhood stays, get rid of any duplicate items and if they don’t know where something came from, it gets donated.

“Kevin, how many phonebooks do we have? This one isn’t even for New York!”

“Trash them. Trash all of them.” Kevin rolls his eyes as he drops a stuffed dinosaur in the Donate box.

This goes on for two more hours, until every question is punctuated with a yawn. Finally, Connor puts a stop to it.

“Ke-“ he yawns thickly. “Kevin? Let’s go to bed.”

“Hmm?” Kevin sits up straighter from where he was slumped against the wall. “Oh, bed. Yeah.” He makes it to his feet and stumbles across the room. Connor takes his arm to help him down the hall, but he’s so tired that they end up relying heavily on the walls to keep them upright. A quick pit stop at the bathroom to brush their teeth, and they collapse into bed. Neither of the think to remove their jeans before lying down, and they can’t be bothered to get back up so they sleep like that- tangled in denim and each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are my phone books. Only, like back in the 90s when people actually used phone books.


End file.
